Free to Run

5x7 Folded Card

2011-12-14T23:29:00.001-08:00

With Love Christmas Card

Create personalized Christmas card designs at Shutterfly.com.

View the entire collection of cards.

Don't be sad if you don't get one in the mail. I only ordered a few because it's Connor's first Christmas. I really just love seeing his face all the time, in pictures and in person. We are so happy that he has entered our lives and can't really remember life without him.

Stationery Card

2011-11-21T16:35:00.001-08:00

Clean Trio Blue Birth Announcement

Customize your own unique baby announcements with Shutterfly.

View the entire collection of cards.

Those Lips

2011-10-29T08:12:00.000-07:00

This just discovered! Connor's 18 day old face! I was just about to give him a little washing... I can barely remember when I could hold him like that and he wasn't trying to jump out of my arms.

Photo Book

2011-08-19T17:58:00.003-07:00

Click here to view this photo book larger

Friends

2011-08-18T22:47:00.000-07:00

On 7/30/11 Riley Van Scherpe (top) came to visit and on 8/3/11 Connor met Zachariah Herr (below). Best buds born in 2011.

Seriously, I'm Supposed to Wake Him??

2011-07-16T10:29:00.000-07:00

"I know I have to wake him because he hasn't eaten in 3 hours but please, look at that face." (I don't know what photo went with that comment. I originally took these photos using Blogpress Lite but it would not post and I could not save the photos to my camera roll. Luckily I took screen shots of the pics and was able to salvage some of the images.)

"He likes to go to deep sleep around 6:30am so we are getting used to sleeping in until 8:30 or 9. Not food for planning daytime activities but oh well. I think he'll change his schedule next week." (Ya, that didn't happen.)

"Highly suspicious... Shifty eyes..."

Sideways smirk! Ok time to get ready to meet the cousins and aunts and uncles at grandma and grandpa Greene's.

Baby Kicks 12

2011-07-07T09:52:00.000-07:00

The air outside is fresh and clean, cool and green, like camping. You know that moment in the morning when the sun has just risen and the breeze carries a hint of warmth on it's back and you know that if you don't get out of the tent right now, you will be sweating bullets any second.

Time to rest is sweet and I intend to savor every moment before Connor comes to play. And we have time. I had a wonderful birthday July 5 Tuesday. Slept in until 10:30am recovering from fireworks with friends in the valley.

Had a delicious lunch with my mom and dad and hubby at Babbo's at Stanford shopping center after which we went to Macy's and were blessed with a generous grandmother to be who had not yet bought any "fun" things for baby.

While leaving the center we stopped by Sprinkles and had the surreal experience of using the secret word to get a free cupcake. All four of us!! That was fun. And decadent dark chocolate. Mmm.

The end to my birthday was a nice quiet BBQ with friends, talking and sharing corn, zucchini and rib-eyes. A wonderful day.

July 6 - my second day of time off for baby prep - a quick doctor check at 10:15 am turned into hospital food for lunch (which was pretty good penne chicken Alfredo) and testing until 2:30pm. My blood pressure and heart rate were very high and they wanted to rule out preeclampsia.

Connor's fine and I'm fine but his amniotic fluids are still around 8 so we will check again this Friday. I dropped off some disability papers at the medical records department then went and got some free gas and car washes. A pretty successful day. Rested and slept and drooled on my pillow until it was time to go to bed. Ha ha, what's up with drooling when you try to sleep during the day?

July 7 - 8:12 am and I'm still in bed. It was 7:56 when I started writing about the air outside. Gonna rest a bit more since I still get up every hour or half hour out of habit now I think. But I was able to breathe and I praise God for that. I had no stuffiness or swollen throat. The end is near. The plan is to drop off some clothes for a friend, walk in the pool, then be here when they come to fix our kitchen lights. That's the haps in the Baby Kicks world.

First Day..

2011-07-01T19:40:00.000-07:00

Today is the first day of the rest of our lives. Of course everyday is the first day of the rest of our lives, but today, right now, is the first moment of being totally ready to go in case Connor decides to join us.

Today was my last day at work - mixed feelings - I love my job and everyone I work with at AAA. I'm taking two weeks off before the supposed due date of July 14th, praying that he comes early. So the next several days will be spent resting and nesting, doing necessary check ups and exercises, and eagerly awaiting the arrival of the most special little guy I've ever known.

Even though he keeps me up all night - every hour on the hour - I love him.
Even though he punches me and kicks me and stabs me all the time - I love him.

We are ready for you Connor - come on out. Ok wait, we aren't ready. A few more days would be ok. Ok, we have no idea what we have gotten into - you can just stay in there if you want... ;)

Wiggle Worm

2011-01-15T09:02:00.000-08:00

Ha hah! The wiggle worm would not hold still! We though only after to video the ultrasound... Duh. Hiccups, thumb sucking, little kicks, so amazing. And then a total flip around! May seem like old hat to some but we were amazed an loving it. Next time, we video.

Oops, deleted off Facebook accidentally.

Baby Time

2010-12-05T06:19:00.000-08:00

I can't believe I'm pregnant. So I'll probably blah blah blah here about exciting baby news as we journey along. Just the funny or interesting things like how I've been going to bed at 8:30 or 9:00 exhausted and didn't know why... I guess one good thing might be I've also been waking up at 5am wide a-stupid-wake. That will come in handy. So I'm out walking Dot. She is going to be so jealous. Hey check this out:

Is that the Monopoly cop? They are repairing or replacing one elevator at a time at our apartments. Apparently one barrier was not enough. The one behind it says OTIS on it along with the warning. Name the movie!!

Well, my original post was written yesterday at 6:45am but didn't load and then disappeared so who knows what I was rambling about. And you don't even know the frustration I went through to upload that photo to Google Blogger from my iPhone. (ok that statement was ridiculous) Yay Flickr and HTML save the day! Blogger Press Lite wasn't working. And my laptop came down with a nice case of The Blue Screen of Death. If you know what I mean then you feel my pain. I am SO not complaining. It's just life where we are at right now. Some day we will live in a cabin in the woods and chop firewood for the cook stove and have to drive into town to make a phone call. Someday. You can come visit and sleep in our loft with the fire downstairs crackling and putting us to sleep.

Oh ya. We were on our way to breakfast in Milpitas then hit Great Mall for some shopping.

Aaaaand we're off! (to more adventures than we have ever known. Too bad we never wrote our book, "We Don't Have Kids, but You're Doing it Wrong." ha ha ha just kidding. I know, I know, we'll see....)

:)

First Geocache

2010-08-31T21:39:00.000-07:00

http://www.geocaching.com/seek/cache_details.aspx?guid=3fd8f0c1-1344-4fc2-af61-8aca12e3be28

Placed our first Geocache this summer. Check it out if you ever feel like driving out towards Nevada!

- Posted using BlogPress

Rain

2010-04-28T10:17:00.001-07:00

The rain came on
Like weirdness
River waves on asphalt
Paves the way for
Cloudy days and wind

- Posted using BlogPress

No Words

2010-03-07T08:51:00.001-08:00

March 4th 7:15am

This morning walking Dot was like camping for 20 seconds… it was so nice, I wanted to stay down there... Words can't describe that morning. But we try anyway...

Morning coffee, peaceful quiet
Coffee steam, sneaks to the sky
Cold air, bright sun, blue sky, white cloud
Slight warm shine,
bright to break the night
Brings the day
Dew on grass
Birds in trees
Crisp, no breeze
Quiet hum
Could be a river

It's the freeway

- Posted using BlogPress

Anniversary wknd in the snow

2010-02-13T16:43:00.001-08:00

Right now Steve and I are celebrating 14 years of marriage together- through thick and thin we praise God for keeping us strong, guiding us along, and giving us grace to share.

Here's my "daily places" micro-blog:

Sittin' in the mess hall @ Jenness Park, using the single bar dial-up wi-fi. Thinkin' 'bout a hot cocoa. Lookin' out the windows @ the snow.

See more details at: http://dlpc.es/9p6d

- Posted using BlogPress

Taking the train

2009-12-30T10:15:00.000-08:00

Soooo... when you carpool from work to Sunnyvale for dinner and Campbell for dessert, you are very tired at the end of the night and you forget to pick up your car in Palo Alto before you head home to San Mateo. Then, when you are looking for your car in the morning you are lucky that you remember where your car is before your husband leaves for work so he can drop you off in Hillsdale to catch the bullet to University Ave!

Ok so maybe you aren't, but I am :)

- Posted using BlogPress

Testing out the old uploaded

2009-12-26T20:51:00.001-08:00

Testing, testing, blog 23. This is a mini-micro blog to see if this
works. Steve and I had fun today shopping at Hillsdale and having CPK
for dinner. Dot is munching on a candy cane rawhide that is sweet
potato flavored. Steve just started his first blog.I'm so proud.
Sent from my iPhone

Blogging While Sick...

2009-12-14T11:21:00.000-08:00

Well, the last post here was done while I was sick, so I see no reason not to do it again. I've had a cold/flu for about a week now. It's been mostly a fever with uncontrollable coughing Saturday, Sunday and today since I toughed it through the throat and nose stuff at work last week.

As I was walking Dot, who refuses to use the toilet for some reason, I paused momentarily. Bundled in hat and scarf on the sidewalk, breathing in the fresh cool breeze between wheezes, I saw a jogger through the trees in the park. Heard people in their apartments vacuuming. Smelled warm homey aromas of dinner stewing.

The days pass
if I don't write
you won't know
that I was thinking

I'm in a rut. People ask "what's new?" And I say "nothing, just working and sleeping." And it's pretty much true. There's not much new going on. One tiny thing that's different is that I'm working in a different department at AAA. I am now officially an insurance adviser. I help you manage your auto/home/flood/earthquake and personal umbrella insurance. It's very exciting, and if you know me, you know I love to learn new things.

Right now I'm watching a show about Free Masons on the History Channel. I'm also currently reading a novel called The Templar Legacy. Very interesting. There's so much stuff out there to know, it's mind boggling. I want to know about science and history and I want to create art and music. I want to grow vegetables and cook delicious cuisine. There's computers and philosophy and I want to do it all. My mind gets boggled and I stick to the two year plan of getting out of debt. Work and sleep, work and sleep. Nothing new, not yet.

'round the rock
trees the park
i walk the dog i walk the dog
'round the rock
trees the park
i walk the dog i walk the dog
past the rock
and trees that bark
i walk the dog i walk the dog
past the rock
and trees the dark
i walk the dog i walk the dog

Sick as a Pig-Faced Dog - a true Jen blog (random)

2009-05-03T09:14:00.000-07:00

Sorry, Facebook readers, I accidentally published this post by hitting the Enter button before I had even typed anything... So a note is going to post with this picture and the title "Sick as a Pig-" (kinda funny). This is us setting up our new tent on the lawn at our apt. complex. We are super excited! :D

Anyway, I have a cold. I got it from Steve. He's spent a few days at home and now I am hoping I am better by tomorrow for work. Work is going pretty well for me at AAA. Although I had a dream last night that I got laid off because I went to get a copy of something and fell asleep and my client in travel (of which I am not an agent) left! We were living back in Linden and it was really weird. But I wasn't worried about it because I *knew* in my dream that it was o.k. - you know how you *know* things in your dreams?

Dreams are cool. I have lots of dreams. Most of the waking ones involve music and nature and travel. Most of the sleeping ones do too but in a more abstract way. Working on a couple songs right now and wondering if I should ever copyright my songs (since they really aren't mine, but God's... and if someone steals them - isn't that a form of flattery?).

Steve is still praying and looking for a position at a church in the youth/young adult area. Currently in the process is Highlands in Paso Robles, CA. Thanks for your prayers if you read this.

"If the road I'm on falls out from under me, walk with me..." JE

ABC's of Me

2009-04-22T22:04:00.000-07:00

A - Age: 34

B - Bed size: Eastern King

C - Chore you hate: housekeeping

D - Dog's name: Dot

E - Essential start your day item: breakfast

F - Favorite color: greens

G - Gold or Silver: Silver

H - Height: 5' 7"

I - Instruments you play(ed): piano, guitar, cajon...

J - Job title: AAA Sales and Service Associate

K - Kid(s): n/a

L - Living arrangements: apartment with my husband and beagle

M - Mom's name: Patti

N - Nicknames: not really

O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: none

P - Pet Peeve: bad drivers

Q - Quote from a movie: "It's possible..." ("Pig")

R - Right or left handed: Right

S - Siblings: 2 younger brothers

T - Time you wake up: 6am

U- Underwear: yes

V - Vegetable you dislike: lima beans

W - Ways you run late: ways? procrastinating, watching TV, zoning out...

X - X-rays you've had: teeth, back, ribs, kidneys, hand

Y - Yummy food you make: phyllo wrapped asparagus

Z - Zoo favorite: bears

Answers to Prayer

2009-04-11T11:51:00.000-07:00

Some may say that life is life and that "answers to prayer" are just coincidences and not the hand of God's providence in our lives. I know that God answers prayers. Sure, they may be co-incidences (two things happening at once seemingly related), but they are not just coincidences.

* Steve had an interview with Good Shepherd Lutheran Church in Novato on Sunday Mar. 22, 2009. We both went, had a great time with the church family there, and spent the day in services and going to lunch. We found out earlier this month that they are going to keep their search going for other candidates but assured us that God has something planned for us. (And we know that to be true.)

* The 20/30 Couples group at PCC in Redwood City is done with the Love Dare challenge and we really enjoyed hosting the group at our apartment. The group will be meeting in the Fireside room on Tuesdays for the next several weeks to discuss the next step in the small group ministry for young couples at PCC. Please join us!

* La Tartine was fun and I enjoyed singing some songs that weren't my own. That night, and other moments during days, inspire me to write new phrases and rhymes that may or may not become songs or be heard. But I know that God hears them, even for the brief moment that I think them, even when I forget to write it down, even when that tune is lost and I beg for it back. It's His, I guess, not mine, and I gladly sing to Him every day, a new song. Maybe He'll sing my thoughts and words back to me when I get to Heaven and I can say, "Oh ya... that's how it went..."
:)

Prayer Requests

2009-03-14T12:37:00.000-07:00

* Steve has an interview (4th time of contact) with Good Shepherd Lutheran Church in Novato on Sunday Mar. 22. The position is for Youth Pastor. We are both going for the day to morning services, lunch with committee members, dinner with more members, and evening service ! It's going to be a long day but we are prayerful and relying on God's wisdom and plan for us as we move through this turbulent time and continue to seek his will.

* Steve and I are currently helping lead a small group for young married couples at PCC in Redwood City and are really enjoying it. We are so thankful for the great group that treks up to our apartment every week. We are going through the Love Dare book together and share our highlights and fears as we do one small (or big) thing each day that grows us closer to our spouse and to God. I highly recommend the Love Dare book. I'm halfway through (much like many PCCers) and it's such a great marriage picker-upper!

* I'm doing a short set at La Tartine tomorrow night around 8:30pm. I'm singing a few of my most recent originals but the scariest part is that I took on the challenge of learning a few "covers" so I'm going to attempt Bubbly by Colby Callait, I'm Yours by Jason Mraz, You've Got a Friend by Carole King, and Beggar by Jetty Rae. P.S. if you haven't heard of Jetty Rae, she is awesome!

25 Things About Me

2009-02-03T20:12:00.000-08:00

1. I took the month of January off from Facebook and never missed it once.

2. I go to bed at 10pm! (Used to be like 1-2am)

3. I always laugh at that commercial where the dad has the T-Mobile phone and the family plan but says "Sorry theres a no Derrick's with mustaches clause in the contract. Ohhhh, what a drag DUDE."

4. I love watching American Idol and trying to imagine what they're feeling as they audition.

5. I can do DMV transactions for members at the AAA in Palo Alto.

6. I know how to make lumpia. (After I made them like Steve made them.)

7. There isn't much more interesting stuff about me that people don't already know from my Facebook or blog.

8. One of my favorite authors is Dean Koontz.

9. Right now I'm reading One Door Away From Heaven by Dean Koontz (Then I'll start Twilight)

10. Pizza Rolls rock! (Haven't had them in a few months...)

11. If I start listening to music on my computer, I can get lost in the music.

12. I love searching for indie artists on amiestreet.com

13. The first scary movie I ever saw was Scream and I loved it.

14. I've never seen any of the Friday the 13th or Nightmare on Elm Street movies.

15. I started out hating coffee, now I drink it black.

16. My guitar needs new strings and a new battery (ok so that's about my guitar, but it implies that I am a procrastinator)

17. I have a dentist appointment for Feb 19th.

18. I haven't been to the dentist in 3 years.

19. I have never had, nor will I ever have a cavity.

20. I can't believe I haven't seen the 2nd X-Files movie yet. Shame on me.

21. I'm growing my hair out.

22. I can look straight with one eye and cross-eyed with the other at the same time.

23. My favorite album right now is Rock What You Got by Superchick

24. I gotta go to work tomorrow and that is awesome.

25. I'm a child of God. :D

Last Day of 2008

2008-12-31T11:04:00.000-08:00

This is a great day. I've got the weekend off and I'm watching Fellowship of the Ring on "The Wall," cleaning house, making lumpia for tonight, and being thankful for so many things. 2008 - The first part of the year was hard. Steve and I were still living separately: me with my folks and he in a studio. We continued "dating" until June when we were able to get an apartment together with Dot our 6 year-old Beagle. The view is great at the 526 and I love sitting on the balcony watching the tops of the trees and sipping coffee while the sun rises (o.k. that was in the summertime).

I'm still working at AAA and loving it. Steve is still working at Bank of America and not loving it. We are praying for God's guidance and will in this next year. What does He want from us and for us?

One thing Steve and I are doing is eating better. We got ourselves a Vitamix from Costco for Christmas and it was just the right motivation for us to now eat at least 5 fruits and vegetables each per day! We even cook soup in it. :D This is one New Year's Resolution we are keeping as we speak, so I'm confident we will continue! Finally, a success!

And as we start 2009, I pray for continued wisdom most of all. Wisdom for making choices, spending time, and growing closer to God. I wish you all a Happy New Year and the blessings of God.

-Jen

Do Something... Anything!

2008-11-15T09:06:00.000-08:00

I just read Tony's 2 Cents and I'm inspired to do something, anything, even if it fails. It doesn't matter if 1000 people think I failed. Maybe 1 person will think about God or pray or remember... I will always remember this one girl in high school who signed my senior yearbook. She was a sophomore at the time and said I was inspiration to her Christian walk because of how I lived my life and ran the newspaper... I had no idea I had made an impact on her life for Christ for two years!

So whenever I say, "I know I don't do much," or "all I do is play music," I know that's just the devil's influence trying to make me quit.

Lead a small group in worship, buy some socks for a homeless person, pray for a coworker, mention Jesus' name as the reason why do did something nice... something... anything.

Bill Leahy

2008-09-04T00:01:00.000-07:00

It still hasn't really hit me yet. I keep telling myself that it is real, but it doesn't make sense. My mind keeps telling me that he's gone, maybe to remind myself or make it sink in. I can't believe he's really done with this world... I'm jealous sometimes but I know that we all have our purpose here on earth for the glory of God. Bill served God, and I'm happy to say, he had to fly.

Time to Fly

You took the call to serve
and you took to the sky
gave your time to the lesser kind
lived by faith and not by sight

I feel the need
to follow you
'cause you followed Christ...

You planned your life and then
you raised a family
gave your love to friends in need
stood for what you believed

I feel the need
to follow you
'cause you followed Christ...

Your time to fly
to reach the heavens and know
the joy that's waiting there.
Your time to fly,
to finally know the answers
we were always searching for.
Your time to fly,
to follow Christ in ways
we can only dream on earth...
I feel the need
to follow you...
'cause you had to fly.

You had a sense of selflessness,
a quiet air of peace
We knew that you were listening
the way you paused when we would speak.

I feel the need
to follow you
'cause you followed Christ...

Did you know that very instant
that you had gotten your reward?
Is it everything we heard about?
Do you run on streets of gold?

I wish I could
follow you
‘cause you followed Christ…

Your time to fly
to reach the heavens and know
the joy that's waiting there.
Your time to fly,
to finally know the answers
we were always searching for.
Your time to fly,
to follow Christ in ways
we can only dream on earth...
I feel the need
to follow you...
'cause you had to fly.

- Jen Ehinger

On Getting Ready to Go Camping...

2008-07-12T21:27:00.000-07:00

The combination of getting older and recently moving has created a situation of unpreparedness when it comes to heading out to go camping. It took us ALL day today to get packed and stacked to go live in the dirt out of boxes... It was a very nice day. We went to coffee and Costco and even took a nap. Naps are good. Someday, we'll have an official "camp box" already packed so we can just jump in the car with our gear.

* Insert your own clever analogy to spiritual life here. *

So we head off tomorrow morning for the Jackson State Demonstration Forest (no fires - we checked), and we are going to pick up a U-Haul in Clearlake on Thursday to get the rest of our belongings from Steve's grandma's house on the way back. P.S. if anyone reading this is available on Friday to help us move some things upstairs it would be GREATLY appreciated and rewarded... There is an elevator, but still. Leave me a message and we'll get in touch Friday afternoon :)

Anyway, see you next week. All our cars are safely parked so don't try to ticket us ;) - Jen

HTML

2008-06-05T13:46:00.001-07:00

I love knowing basic HTML. If you don't know it, learn some! It's cool.

It's Official...

2008-05-20T12:46:00.000-07:00

After 1 year, 5 months, and 18 days of being separated, Steve and I are finally going to live together again. This Saturday we move into our new apartment in San Mateo and I am so excited! Aside from the fact that we are still in the Bay Area and the place is amazing... I'm so anxious to just be a family again. We have been going through a lot these past months with jobs and church and families and money! Sheesh... money! But I praise God for the blessings He gives and for the trials He knows we'll get through. I look at my life and say "Thank you," because I am so rich and loved and blessed; I feel like I have no right to complain about the "little" things that go wrong or that I don't like in my life because I am not starving, I have always had a place to sleep, I have clothes to wear, and I have tons of people who care for me and pray for me. Thank you all! And thank you God! :)

New address to follow...
and an awesome party at the club house! Keep an eye out ;)

My New Addiction

2008-04-29T12:00:00.000-07:00

Aime Street @ http://amiestreet.com/

I've been getting free and cheap music on Aime Street, writing reviews and getting credit for more songs, and low and behold, today one of my recommendations is the Single of the Day! It's a weird song by a weird guy but it's still really cool.

And Then I Ate A Reese's Peanut Butter Cup...

2008-04-24T15:37:00.001-07:00

"There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's."

I Think They Call it an Ear Worm...

2008-04-19T13:24:00.000-07:00

O.K. maybe it doesn't work... Just testing out this new thing I found on Amie Street. (It didn't work for me but it looks like it should.)
If I sent you an email, come join! You can find free and/or cheap music and you can recommend songs to gain points to buy MORE music! I started with my free $5.00, haven't spent any "real" money and I have over 100 songs. I got plugged into it thanks to Matt and you can support his music on there too. If I didn't send you an email and you're interested, let me know and I'll send you the link. I didn't want to send it to a bazillion people...

Anyway, I've been waking up with this song playing in my head for the past several weeks even though I haven't listened to it in a while. Specifically the line "Sometimes rain that's needed falls
We float like two lovers in a painting by Chagall"

There's a lot of floating going on in Chagall's paintings... Who knows which one The Weepies were referring to? I had forgotten how much I enjoy art. Good old classic paintings by the masters. But if I were to hang a Chagall in my living room (if I had a living room), it would be this last one. It's called "Three Candles."

About the Artwork
Marc Chagall (1887 – 1985) embraced the philosophy that love colored his paintings. Focusing extensively on his childhood, his happy, optimistic paintings defy the poverty of his upbringing in a Russian Shtetl. After a brief time in Paris, Chagall escaped to the US during World War II where his career reached new heights including a rare exhibit during his lifetime at the Louvre.

Mmm... Blogging

2008-04-11T11:39:00.000-07:00

I'm at work right now and I'm alone in my department all day. It just feels right to blog for some reason. I had a dream last night about helping some of you, my friends, here at AAA (it's scary when you start dreaming about work...), so come on down to Palo Alto and I will hook you up!

I love music so much, sometimes it's all I can think about! I'm blessed to have this weekend filled with musical opportunities. Last night, the S@6 band rocked The Little Fox in Redwood City for The Nightingale Farewell with some of PCC's favorite worship songs and I was honored to be included as a guitarista. Tonight I get to lead worship at CR with Leslie Crouch (woo!) and Sunday Night (@ 5:30) we will come to God together and praise Him with everything we have. Get ready for these songs: I Know Who I Am, Friend of God, Lord Come to Me, and Lord Reign in Me, Center, and Marvelous Light. I pray that you will be blessed as much as I always am when I get to humbly lead you before our King. I'm so not worthy on my own, and yet I'm a daughter of this King. This King who will come back and reign forever. I seriously can't wait.

If you get a chance, check out The Trumpet Child by Over the Rhine. Not only is it one of the greatest albums from start to finish, but the title track has got to be the sexiest song about the second coming of Christ I've ever heard. Jesus is so in love with us, that I think he really enjoys this song... I know I do.

On a non-musical note (although I could make it one quite easily), Steve and I are once again looking for a place to live. We appreciate all the prayers over the past years for our marriage, our lives, and our finicial situation. We really want to stay in the Bay Area since we have such a great support system of friends and family here, and so we are looking anywhere from Sunnyvale to Burlingame. Ideally we would love to stay in Redwood City 'cause it's the best, so if you have a place for rent or know of one that takes dogs, please let us know! :)

Free to Run,
Jen

Letting Go of Letting Go

2008-04-01T11:34:00.000-07:00

"Let Go and Let God," they say... Easier said than done, right?

Right.

Trying to control things in my life has subconsciously become a hobby for me over the years. Letting go would be great... and sometimes it is. The feeling of relief and release as I give my struggles and worries and needs to God has been literally uplifting at times. If only I wouldn't take those things back from God, hang on tight, and "let go of my letting go."

So maybe instead of saying "Let Go and Let God," I'm going to start saying, "Let Go and Let Go," or "Let Go and Leave it at the Cross." Because the only way to truly stay free from something is to let it go completely, give it to Christ, and let Him keep it. Come on take it, come on take it, take it from me!

Some scripture I'm sitting in today:

(Leave Your Sin...you've been forgiven)
In the gospel of John, chapter 8, "Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" "No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."

(Leave Your Cares...He'll care for you)
Psalm 55:22-23 "Cast your cares on the LORD
and he will sustain you;
he will never let the righteous fall.
But you, O God, will bring down the wicked
into the pit of corruption;
bloodthirsty and deceitful men
will not live out half their days.
But as for me, I trust in you."

(Leave Your Worry...Classic Jesus)
Matthew 6:25-34 "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Hanging On to Hanging On

2008-03-10T19:00:00.000-07:00

Just a thought:

Why do I want to remember things so badly? I keep things to remind me of moments in time that are gone. They were good times... times I felt connected, loved, approved. I have transcripts and report cards, special birthday and Christmas cards, ticket stubs, and in this new age... emails, text messages, even voice mails. And when it gets to the end of the 14 days it will save a voice mail, I send it to myself and save it again. I cling desperately to fleeting things, moments in time, the past.

Paul says to forget what is behind and press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. But it feels so good to remember. And so I guess the trick is to live every day with love so that each day will be filled with moments we would want to remember and cherish. We won't need to hang on to old memories because we will make new ones every morning. God's grace is new every morning, so should ours be.

So I delete saved voice mails and emails, I recycle old cards (most of them), and try to weed through the trinkets. I will try to spend more time with you, call you more often, send you a card out of season... we'll see.

Leap Year!

2008-02-29T14:34:00.001-08:00

Woo Hoo! It's a day that doesn't exist for the majority of our years and I had to get a blog in! I would hate to have been born on Feb 29...

Well, a ton is going on in my life, but what I really wanted to talk about is corpuscular rays. :) They are one of my most favorite things to photograph. If you don't know what they are, it's what they call rays of light (or the absence of light) that break through some other atmospheric material. (i.e. clouds, mist, smoke...) Here's a photo I snapped with my phone as I was driving to work on the morning of Feb 21, 2008.

It's not the greatest photo, but it captured the moment. It was another one of my first days of freedom, and whenever I see the sun shining through the clouds, it's like God is coming down through sky and time to touch the earth once more. I love it. I imagine Him saying, "See, I'm here..."

Whoever He Really Is, He's the Real God...

2008-02-13T10:00:00.000-08:00

I've known for a long time that God isn't who we think He is.
He's so much more than human words and minds can imagine.
When someone comes to a fantastic idea about God, it seems that they write a book about it, the idea catches on for a while or in a certain area of the world, perhaps a new denomination of Christianity is formed... perhaps a new religion is formed... Well, I'm not going to write a book - I may read one or two of the books already out there that are seeking the "true" nature of God, but I'll be content to blog and pray, "hoping to God" that I'm not deluding myself or making it more difficult to commune with Him.

"Commune with Him." Sometimes certain phrases I've said all my life strike me and make me stop and think how crazy and wrong I must sound to someone who does not know God. But then I think about all the other religions that have their own ways to God like "following the Noble Eightfold Path" (which is actually pretty good until the last one...) and "Worship Allah as if you see Him."

And so I, because I have grown up in Christianity, have come to believe in the God of the American Protestant convention. Don't get me wrong, whoever He really is, He's the real God, creator of the universe, and He loved us enough to give us the choice to love Him - because who really feels loved when the other person has no choice? And He loved us enough to come rescue us when we blew it and turned away from Him.

But, but, but, the waves of doubt crash on my forehead... what if we're not completely right? Or what if some of those other religions are on the right track but just haven't reached the Jesus switch? At times like this I turn to the book I have that for centuries has been snipped and stretched, translated and screen played, but has always been called "the Word of God." This is an excerpt from the book of Romans. (Romans 1:1-7, 18-28. My emphasis added.) Paul was a killer of Christians who was forgiven by Jesus in a blinding flash of light. Then he couldn't stop telling people about the love of God...

"Paul, a servant of Christ Jesus, called to be an apostle and set apart for the gospel of God— the gospel he promised beforehand through his prophets in the Holy Scriptures regarding his Son, who as to his human nature was a descendant of David, and who through the Spirit of holiness was declared with power to be the Son of God by his resurrection from the dead: Jesus Christ our Lord. Through him and for his name's sake, we received grace and apostleship to call people from among all the Gentiles to the obedience that comes from faith. And you also are among those who are called to belong to Jesus Christ.

To all in Rome who are loved by God and called to be saints:
Grace and peace to you from God our Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ.

- - -

The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.

For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles.

Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.

Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.

Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Although they know God's righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them."

Sit in that for a while. That's what I'm going to do... thanks for reading.
- Jen

Sometimes I Say It Pretty Well Too...

2008-02-11T14:23:00.000-08:00

Ahhh, "vacation." Right now, I'm sitting on the couch at Steve's place and we are watching X-Files all day on the Sci-Fi Channel. But we are also each on our own laptops; (what's the world coming to?) he's playing Texas Hold 'Em and I'm finding and listening to new music, Googling things we see in commercials, and checkin' the old email.

See, yesterday was our 12-year-anniversary and even though we aren't going anywhere special, we kind of are, because we are together, just living. It's nice. Thanks to everyone who has been praying for us. Our plan is to find a place that we can afford and takes dogs around April 1 (no joke...) when Steve's lease is up.

There's so much more going on, but that's the general plan for now. God works miracles.

Others Always Say It Better...

2008-02-07T13:39:00.000-08:00

New Creation

Today's Scripture

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come” (II Corinthians 5:17).

Today's Word from Joel and Victoria

Everyone loves to get something new. But as a believer in Jesus, you’re not only getting something new, you are something new. You are a brand new creation! Your eternal being, or the spirit on the inside of you, is re-created in Christ. The old is gone, the new has come. The Bible says that we are to work out our salvation. That means you have to retrain your body and mind to act, think, speak and live according to the new spirit within you—instead of the old habits you used to have. Don’t ever get stuck in a rut thinking, “I’ll never change…that’s just the way I am.” No, the Bible says that the Spirit of God aids us in our weakness. He gives us strength to overcome. He empowers us to live as more than conquerors. Is there something you want to change in your life today? Remember, you are a new creation in Christ. You are empowered to overcome. You are equipped to walk in the new, abundant life the Lord has in store for you!

A Prayer for Today

Father in Heaven, thank You for making me a new creation. Thank You for empowering me to live as an overcomer. I give this day to You and ask You to help me fully understand the plan You have for me. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Variation on Similar Situation from Oct 22, 2007

2008-01-09T14:10:00.000-08:00

It's that feeling when you wake up, that it's the most warm, safe, cozy place you've ever been, why would you get up? The cotton flannel sheets come up just right over your nose and mouth, allowing you to breath without suffocating you, but keeping you warm. The good feelings from the dream you had still linger in your subconscious. Your head swims, a little dizzy from the cough medicine you took at 3am when you couldn't stop coughing...

I called in sick today. I always feel guilty calling in sick. I am sick, but I could have gone to work. I'd be miserable and coughing on people all day. So, I'm sorry, but not too sorry. I won't beat myself up over it.

I just thought to write about it now. It's at that point when it would no longer be feasible to go in for the rest of the day. Almost like that feeling when you would stay home from school and the clock would hit 3:30pm and you knew all your friends were home too... at least that's how I was. I didn't have to feel guilty anymore - even if I was truly home sick...

Too Many Things...

2007-12-30T12:58:00.000-08:00

Well, it's almost 2008. I know people always ask this, but what is it about changing the calendar year that holds such a magical hope about it? Do I really believe that I could actually start over... is that truly possible? Living alone in the world without God - no. Just take a stroll down the "self-help" aisle of your local Barnes & Noble. God's the only one who can bring the "magic" of the New Year to us any day of the year. At any moment in time, I can ask God to make me a new person. I can, and I have. So now that I am a new creation, the old being gone, how am I going to live my life? Will I take this amazing gift and toss it in the pile of token Christmas favors or will I hold it dear and cherish it before my eyes each morning, focusing on the prize for which Christ has called me heavenward?

Too many things... I must stop "trying" to live. I'm trying to hard. I have too many things going on in my life and most of them aren't even real. It's going to be incredibly hard for me, but I am going to seriously scale back (notice I can't quite let go yet) on network sites and blogs from now on, not just in this new year. I have let them take over my every spare moment so that I have not made time for Christ, let alone real relationships with real people. So look for me in the new year - in the flesh. I'll be more focused, more peaceful, more gentle, more musical, and hopefully, more real.

I'm a Fool but...

2007-12-11T14:45:00.000-08:00

I want to be a fool for God, and laugh and cry and surrender all. I want to truly trust and humbly serve, come to Him broken and live life renewed.

I thought to myself, "you're a fool" this morning as I used a Starbucks card to get coffee and some holiday bread. I was inconsiderate to the barrista when I said, "the side of the cup is all wet," when he gave me my cup. I said, "do you have a napkin back there?" but I never asked him to please wipe it off for me... I expected it. I'm so sorry for being rude. It didn't hit me until I was standing on the corner waiting for the light to change... I looked down at my brown Doc Martins that terribly clash with my black outfit and thought, "you look like a fool." I felt the wetness of my freshly cleaned Eggnog Latte and remembered how I had acted. How could I make up for it? I had no time to go in and apologize; I had to get to work. I could go back later today or tomorrow but who knows if he will be there - or if he'd remember. But that's not the point. So who knows what I'm going to do. This is the dilemma of living...

Today's Word

Joy in His Presence

Today's Scripture

“You have made known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy in Your presence, with eternal pleasures at Your right hand” (Psalm 16:11).

Today's Word from Joel and Victoria

Do you need more joy in your life today? God promises that joy is found in His presence, and if you’ve accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior, then His presence lives inside of you! That joy manifests when you focus your mind and heart on the Father and begin to praise Him for what He’s done in your life. The Bible says that He inhabits the praises of His people. When you begin to praise and thank Him, you are in His presence where there is fullness of joy. It doesn’t matter where you are or what’s going on around you, you can access the joy that’s inside of you at anytime, day or night. And know this: God wants you to experience His supernatural joy and peace at all times. That’s why He chose to live inside of you and give you an endless supply. Don’t waste another minute feeling overburdened and discouraged. Let the joy of the Lord be your strength, and you will move forward in victory on the path of life He’s prepared for you!

A Prayer for Today

Father in heaven, thank You for an endless supply of joy. Today, I choose to cast my cares on You and give You the praise, glory, and honor You deserve. Let joy flow through me today so that I can be a witness of Your goodness to those around me. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Crazy Weekend, but Par for My Life

2007-12-09T21:58:00.000-08:00

What a weird weekend. It started "normal" enough. I got off of work on Friday and went to dinner at Celebrate Recovery, talked about my problems, went to Steve's and waited for him to get off work. We watched t.v. and munched on snacks. Then I went "home" to my folks' where I live. (This is all "normal" for me so far even though it's not "normal" to spend Friday nights at church talking about hurts, habits, and hang-ups, it's not "normal" to have to visit my husband in his studio apartment and it's not "normal" for me, after almost 12 years of marriage, to live with my parents without my husband...) So it was then that things got weird. (Although, upon later reviewing of this... even the next part is not out of the ordinary...) My dad was taking my mom to the ER at 11:30pm Friday night. She was having pain in her side and trouble breathing. I stayed at home alone and was awake until 2:10 doing laundry, playing my guitar, writing music, reading, listening to music, waiting for a phone call. I fell asleep holding my cell phone. At 3:42am I woke up to the house phone ringing. It rang a million times and I thought it was a dream... (you know that feeling). When I finally woke up and ran to get it, my cell phone started ringing back in my room. It was my dad saying that they had admitted my mom to the hospital because the CAT scan showed blood clots on her right lung. She is recovering from rotator cuff surgery and it's most likely from that. So, o.k. that's one thing. Then at 8am my brother Joe calls me and says, "we're having the baby!" So it's their first and mom and dad can't be there, so I drive to Stanford while mom's at Sequoia hospital... and though I never actually went "back and forth" it felt like it. Top it all off with a choir Christmas party and the day was beyond crammed full of excitement.
Sunday: all day at church save 3 hours for lunch. Mini gig at La Tartine until 9:45pm. Now I'm home and thoroughly exhausted but thankful for friends and prayers and music and Christmas.

I wrote most of this poem when it was raining really cool on the way to work. I wish I took this photo...

Thurs. Dec 6, 2007
I can't seem to write a song about the rain
feels too close, feels too far
Speckled sidewalk
fresh wet asphalt
sweet smell of dusty earth drops bouncing up
Happy patter, grey cloud chatter
Hear the tears of a happy God

Impossible rain!
why is it impossible?
you decide
Eucalyptus to the creekside
Mudslide,

silent leaves hiding under tunnels of yellow green
Hovering mist breaks the silent walk
with whispers through the trees
branches silhouette on dark white sky

Let me hide under your raindrops,
on soggy olive trodden grass land
Weeping for the sunshine
Weeping for the sun
Hiding, running from the light

I love the shelter of the rain

Wine and Cheese

2007-12-01T15:24:00.000-08:00

No matter how hard we try to fight the tiny voice inside, sometimes God just wins. My story begins at work on Friday as I took my wallet out of my purse and placed it on my desk so that I could go pay for my insurance (which I never did, oops...). As the day went on, and work piled up, I buried my wallet and forgot it was there. Hungry beyond the point of remembering that I had no money in my purse, I snatched it up and headed off to Whole Foods in downtown Palo Alto. Every now and then I treat myself to an apple and a small chunk of some exotic cheese, perhaps a fruit juice of some sort. I laugh now as I remember my reply to the homeless lady that said "excuse me ma'am, can you help?" As I hurried in the front of the store, I said "sorry I can't right now." Thinking that all I had was my ATM card, it still would have been true.
So, I walked around leisurely, tasting samples that were out, wandering aimlessly, trying to decide what to get for lunch. For some reason, I noticed a display of wine that was on sale, and an employee started telling me about a pomegranate wine that I found interesting. I looked all around the displays and was taken over by a dream, an image of a gathering of friends, a dimly lit room, laughter, and an Australian wine called the Love Grass. Never tried it before, but the story on the label was interesting.
I'm a sucker for a good story, so when I heard from the guy at the cheese display that the 200 goats that provide the milk for the only organic goat cheese in Northern California graze on headlands that overlook the ocean, I grabbed a small package to go with the wine. I'm sure it would have been delicious. It was only when I got to the checkout stand that I realized I had no money with me. Only slightly embarrassed, I left to make my way back to work. I was actually relieved. I don't know what came over me that would make me buy things for which I had no immediate plans. Nor did I really have the money. Was it really me? Do I buy wine and cheese? Yes. Do I take it to friends' houses? Yes. But this was different. There was something about it that made me feel like I was better or more important because I was going to buy this even though I didn't need it. I know that I don't have the means right now to live the way I want and buy the things I want, but I keep trying and pretending things are normal or o.k.

The other good thing about not spending $25 that day on something I didn't need, was that I "needed" $25 for the amazing concert I went to that night in SF. I got the $25 out of my vending machine at work that afternoon. I also spent $10 on parking and today I got a rebate check for $10 in the mail from something I sent in a long time ago!

Moral of the story, listen to the tiny voice. It's God. Especially if the tiny voice is telling you to do something you don't want to do... it's probably God. Listen up and obey right away.

Leaves

2007-11-25T23:30:00.000-08:00

I want everything I see to be a song
I want every song I sing to be the one
That draws you further down, closer now

The wind strips all the trees with violence and rage
The streets are filled with Fall, it blows away and fills again
I want everything I see to be a song

It's raining leaves today...

I want everything I see to be a song
I want every song I sing to be the one
That draws you further down, closer now

I sat and saw the music blend like coffee and good cream
The air is filled with friends, it blows away and fills again
I want everything I see to be a song

It's raining leaves today...

My Bridge Article Nov. 2007 (unabridged, ha ha)

2007-11-14T22:21:00.000-08:00

Hi, my name is Jen. I am a child of God, and I serve at PCC in the music department. I returned to PCC last year and became a substitute worship leader for the 12-step program called Celebrate Recovery. Now I am a member of the Sunday @ 6 band, playing guitar and singing background or lead vocals. I also coordinate the schedule for worship leaders that volunteer at Celebrate Recovery.
Today, my life has been impacted so much by worship, it revolves around it! Worshiping God has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. I was always singing in this kid's choir or that youth band or learning to lead and play guitar at Campus Club here at PCC. I was the shy girl who sat alone by the door for three years in high school. Afraid to get up front yet longing to learn all the songs, I stayed afterwards to get copies of the music. (I still have them!) I would tape record the music at youth group and practice my guitar at home. I practiced everyday. At times I thought I was just learning the songs and practicing guitar, but really I was worshiping God everyday by singing to Him and meaning and loving the words and scripture I was imprinting on my mind. "Bless Yahweh, oh bless Him, let all that is within me sing praise to His glory and bless His holy name; for He is kind and merciful to all who call upon His name. Oh praise Him for all of His love." By my senior year, I was up front, guitar in hand, fear gone, and well on my way toward leading entire church services, youth groups, and U.S. Army recruits to God in praise.

I love the joy that comes from bringing people to God’s window as He listens to the laughter and praise from His children. I love being available and ready to jump in at a moment’s notice. I may not think I’m able to talk to someone on the street about God or get up in front of a group and give a talk, but if you ask me to lead a few songs, God has blessed me with the courage. And the fact that you can sing a song no matter where you are makes your voice the ultimate musical instrument: created by God, in His own image, a reflection of His voice, and absolutely portable!

Sing to him a new song; play skillfully, and shout for joy.
Psalm 33:3

One More Blog, So Nice and Clean

2007-10-29T12:38:00.000-07:00

This is my new home for thoughts and things. If it's anywhere, it will be here. (Like that makes sense...)

O.k. so this happened at Sunday @ 6, outside during the sermon:
Jesus told me at the cross, "I want to be the only man you turn to and run to in your life." Then this old song came back to me in a rush and I ran inside and wrote it down to share with the hundreds of people at church...
"I'll Obey" and serve You, I'll obey because I love You, I'll obey, my life is in Your hands. For it's the way to prove my love when the feelings go away, and if it costs me everything, I'll obey.

That was last night, this started today at work...

So Syncopated

All I wanna do is sing all day, a new song, {rest} loud song, sing a love song, never stop
All I wanna do is just play all day, a new song, play a loud song, {rest} a quiet love song

All I wanna do is sing all day, a new song, {rest} loud song, sing a love song, and never stop
All I wanna do is just play all day, a new song, play a loud song, {rest} a (love) song I could

sing…..(Sing for joy to God our strength)
And play…..(play skillfully and shout for joy)
For You……(You are my God, You are my God)
all day…..(day after day I will sing praise)
I can sing….. [repeat]

If its' true Lord I will sing, even at work I write this song
This song is true Lord I will sing, even at work I sing this song...