What a weird weekend. It started "normal" enough. I got off of work on Friday and went to dinner at Celebrate Recovery, talked about my problems, went to Steve's and waited for him to get off work. We watched t.v. and munched on snacks. Then I went "home" to my folks' where I live. (This is all "normal" for me so far even though it's not "normal" to spend Friday nights at church talking about hurts, habits, and hang-ups, it's not "normal" to have to visit my husband in his studio apartment and it's not "normal" for me, after almost 12 years of marriage, to live with my parents without my husband...) So it was then that things got weird.
(Although, upon later reviewing of this... even the next part is not out of the ordinary...) My dad was taking my mom to the ER at 11:30pm Friday night. She was having pain in her side and trouble breathing. I stayed at home alone and was awake until 2:10 doing laundry, playing my guitar, writing music, reading, listening to music, waiting for a phone call. I fell asleep holding my cell phone. At 3:42am I woke up to the house phone ringing. It rang a million times and I thought it was a dream... (you know that feeling). When I finally woke up and ran to get it, my cell phone started ringing back in my room. It was my dad saying that they had admitted my mom to the hospital because the CAT scan showed blood clots on her right lung. She is recovering from rotator cuff surgery and it's most likely from that. So, o.k. that's one thing. Then at 8am my brother Joe calls me and says, "we're having the baby!" So it's their first and mom and dad can't be there, so I drive to Stanford while mom's at Sequoia hospital... and though I never actually went "back and forth" it felt like it. Top it all off with a choir Christmas party and the day was beyond crammed full of excitement.
Sunday: all day at church save 3 hours for lunch. Mini gig at La Tartine until 9:45pm. Now I'm home and thoroughly exhausted but thankful for friends and prayers and music and Christmas.
I wrote most of this poem when it was raining really cool on the way to work. I wish I took this photo...
Thurs. Dec 6, 2007
I can't seem to write a song about the rain
feels too close, feels too far
Speckled sidewalk
fresh wet asphalt
sweet smell of dusty earth drops bouncing up
Happy patter, grey cloud chatter
Hear the tears of a happy God
Impossible rain!
why is it impossible?
you decide
Eucalyptus to the creekside
Mudslide,
silent leaves hiding under tunnels of yellow green
Hovering mist breaks the silent walk
with whispers through the trees
branches silhouette on dark white sky
Let me hide under your raindrops,
on soggy olive trodden grass land
Weeping for the sunshine
Weeping for the sun
Hiding, running from the light
I love the shelter of the rain
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